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The 3 Toughest Questions a Woman Can Ask a Man...
The questions are:
Do i LOoK FaT?
Do yOu LovE Me?
WhaT WoUlD YoU Do iF I DiEd?
WhaT MaKeS ThEsE QuEsTiOnS So dIfFiCuLt iS ThAt eVeRy oNe iS GuArAnTeEd tO ExpLodE InTo a mAjOr aRgUmEnT If tHe mAn aNsWeRs iNcOrReCtLy (i.e TeLlS ThE TrUtH). ThErEfOrE, aS A PubLic sErViCe, EaCh qUeStIoN Is aNaLyZeD BeLoW, aLoNg wItH PoSsIbLe rEsPoNsEs. qUeStIoN # 1: dO I LoOk fAt?
tHe cOrReCt aNsWeR Is aN EmPhAtIc: ''Of cOuRsE NoT!'' aMoNg tHe iNcOrReCt aNsWeRs aRe:
cOmPaReD To wHaT?
I WouLdn't cALL YoU FaT, bUt yOu'rE NoT ExActLy ThIn.
a LittLe ExTrA WeIgHt LooKs gOoD On yOu.
i'vE SeEn fAtTeR.
QuEsTiOn # 2: Do yOu LovE Me?
tHe pRoPeR ReSpOnSe iS: ''yEs!'' Or, If yOu fEeL A MoRe dEtAiLeD AnSwEr iS In oRdEr, ''YeS, dEaR.'' iNaPpRoPrIaTe rEsPoNsEs iNcLuDe:
i sUpPoSe sO.
WoUlD It mAkE YoU FeEl bEtTeR If i sAiD YeS?
ThAt dEpEnDs oN WhAt yOu mEaN By lOvE.
DoEs iT MaTtEr?
wHo, Me?
qUeStIoN #3: WhAt wOuLd yOu dO If i dIeD?
A DeFiNiTe nO-WiN QuEsTiOn. (tHe rEaL AnSwEr, Or cOuRsE,
nO MaTtEr hOw yOu aNsWeR ThIs, Be pRePaReD FoR At LeaSt aN HoUr oF FoLLoW-uP QuEsTiOnS, uSaLLy aLoNg tHe tHeSe LinEs:
ShE.... WoUlD YoU GeT MaRrIeD AgAiN?
He.... dEfInItElY NoT!
ShE.... wHy nOt – dOn't yOu lIkE BeInG MaRrIeD?
He.... oF CoUrSe i dO.
ShE.... tHeN WhY WoUlDn't yOu rEmArRy?
hE.... OkAy, I'D GeT MaRrIeD AgAiN.
ShE.... yOu wOuLd? (wItH A HuRtFuL LoOk oN HeR FaCe)
hE.... YeS, i wOuLd.
ShE.... WoUlD YoU SlEeP WiTh hEr iN OuR BeD?
He….. wHeRe eLsE WoUlD We sLeEp?
ShE.... WoUlD YoU PuT AwAy mY PiCtUrEs, AnD RePlAcE ThEm wItH PiCtUrEs oF HeR?
He.... tHaT WoUlD SeEm lIkE ThE PrOpEr tHiNg tO Do.
ShE.... AnD WoUlD YoU LeT HeR UsE My GoLf cLUbS?
He.... sHe cAn't uSe tHeM; sHe's LefT-HaNdEd.
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